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Forbidden Fruit |
A fraud. That's me. I have a blog
called Swiss cheese, but 4 months ago I gave up cheese. It's not that I
don't like cheese anymore -- it's that I can't eat it anymore. Not my
idea, of course, but a "strong suggestion" from my acupuncturist. That's
because cheese is no good for fertility and neither is caffeine. (I
haven't had a caffe latte in FOR.EVER.)
We're
trying very hard to make a baby, but my body is just not cooperating. I
have a condition called
PCOS. I didn't even know it existed until my
doctor diagnosed me. Basically, it means I rarely if ever ovulate.
Fortunately, a change in my diet, acupuncture, Chinese herbs and
supplements have all contributed to some positive changes in my body. I
am hopeful that motherhood is in the cards for me someday, but I suppose
it's not God's timing for me yet. I have always wanted to be a mother,
and I pray that it will happen for me soon.
I
wasn't sure whether or not I should share such personal information
here since usually my posts are pretty lighthearted: nostalgia for
Switzerland, tidbits from weekend trips here and there, my passion for
Fair Trade and resale/thrift/vintage, etc. I decided to divulge because I
wanted to talk about infertility some place other than one of those
mommy blogs or forums. Not because I don't appreciate those sites
(they're quite helpful, though sometimes a little overwhelming with so
many acronyms to learn: BD is baby dance, TTC is trying to conceive, OPK
is ovulation prediction kit, HPT is home pregnancy test, BFP is Big Fat
Positive and the list goes on). It's just that this blog is about my
life and now all of a sudden fertility, or lack thereof, is a big part
of my life. Plus, pretty much everyone at work already knows about it
because I just got so sick and tired of everyone asking me when we were
going to have a baby.
Fertility
stuff is in my face every day. Every morning I take my temperature.
Twice a day I take prenatal vitamins, fish oils and herbal supplements
to balance my hormones. I don't eat soy, gluten, dairy (except for
BUTTER, I can't live without BUTTER), sugar or caffeine. I can only have
a couple of fruit servings a day. I eat lots of vegetables, eggs, and
meat. We buy organic, free-range, grass-fed as much as possible. I cook
dinner every week night. The past 4 months have involved a huge
lifestyle change, not to mention I lost my dad only 8 months ago and
we're trying to buy a house.
When did life get so complicated?
I
don't even know if teaching is my calling. Needless to say, I've been
feeling a little lost lately, but I know I'll get through it all. This is the
girl who decided in 9th grade that she was going to attend NYU and made
it happen. She's the girl who decided she wanted to spend the summer in
Italy for free and lined up a nanny gig to hang out with an adorable
3-year-old along the shores of Lago di Garda. She's in here somewhere --
she just needs a little more time to find herself again.